Finding Love

Finding Love

Finding love doesn’t have to be complicated if you are willing to work for it.


Finding love on Valentine’s Day, what an idea. I mean with all the articles about finding love, and all of the angst about choosing a mate I can imagine this post being met with eye rolls and skepticism. I’m a single girl in her thirties, trust me I get it! So let me be honest, this post will not tell you how to find a boyfriend or husband; heck it won’t even tell you how to find a date tonight. This post is intended to help you think about love in a different way.


Valentine’s Day has a way of reminding you of love you have, or if you are single like me the love you don’t. In either case, this day should be joyous. With so much going on in the world, taking a day to acknowledge love feels like just what we need. It’s been said many times before that love is an action word. Which means in order for love to truly exist and be felt, you have to act. So it stands to reason in order to find love, you have to show up and be willing to put the work in to receive it.


Valentine's Day has a way of reminding you of love you have, or if you are single like me the… Click To Tweet


The first step in that process is practicing radical self-love. You can not pour from an empty well, which basically means you can’t give what you don’t have. So if your love well is dry, there is nothing to give to your significant other once you are in a relationship. So I believe the first step to finding love, is finding it in yourself first. During your single season, spend time loving on yourself. Take yourself out, indulge in self-care pleasures like mani-pedis, spend quality time with yourself and your thoughts. Become intimately acquainted with your inner being. Fall so madly in love with yourself, that your love well becomes so full you have more than enough to give to others.


The second step in the process involves creating a loving circle. Surround yourself with love, and positive examples of love. For a long time single life had be in feelings. I spent more time than I should have being bitter about not having a significant other. When talking to girlfriends, I would be the first to declare how men were horrible and I would probably never find anyone. It didn’t help that some of my friends would co-sign these thoughts, as they were either single or had relationship drama of their own. Well here’s the thing, words have power. I was manifesting negative relationships that didn’t fill my love well, simply because my thoughts, words, and actions created an atmosphere of bitterness. I set out to change that, and fill my life with more positive examples of the love I hoped to find myself one day. As a result, my attitude changed and as I loved on and learned from my circle the quality of my dating life improved. Loving on your circle is also great practice. The more time you spend putting love into action, the more prepared you will be when you find the “one”.


Finally, to find love you have to put love into everything that you do. As mentioned in the beginning, love is an action. Therefore, if you put love into everything you do it will manifest itself in your life. If you spend your days hating your job, hating everything and everyone around you, naturally the negativity that surrounds you will corrupt your entire life. This will create an inhospitable environment for finding love. Good energy is contagious, you will naturally invite more love into your life if you practice acts of love daily. Find a hobby you love, discover ways to fall in love with your career again, adopt a rescue animal – small acts of love can have a great impact.


Finding love only seems hard, because we never take the time to appreciate the love that already exists in our lives. The love you seek can be found inside of you, and you can invite more of it into your life just by being the very thing you are looking for. Happy Valentine’s Day!

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